MEET THE LABELED CREATOR

 The thing is for so many years I lived my life as this loud, boisterous, in-your-face character that you would only find in movies. My life was a movie. A mother on drugs, absentee father, raised by my grandmother in North Philadelphia. It had all of the makings of a really great Tyler Perry play. Now throw a little manic depression and bipolar in the mix. Wow!  now…that's Oscar-worthy! Well, that's if my blackness wasn’t too egregious. 

I began showing signs of mental illness at the age of 21 but didn't understand what was happening to me or why.  With a lack of knowledge and no real guidance, I made up in my mind that it was spiritual warfare. I hadn't been to church in a while, and obviously, God was dealing with me. Makes sense right? Besides the fact that God doesn't work that way, it was clear that my unresolved emotional trauma had caught up with me but I was ill-equipped to handle it. So I did what any black woman with emotional baggage did...I went back to church. I prayed, sang, and shouted the depression away. That worked for a while or so I thought. What? having sex with strangers I met at CVS isn't normal? Oh, who knew? 

It would be 12 additional years before I would be diagnosed with Bipolar 1 Disorder and Manic Depression. 12 additional years, unmedicated and spiraling out of control. 12 additional years where my drinking would increase, my drug habits will form and worsen and my risky sexual appetite will grow to destroy me. The funny thing about all of this, while all of the things I mentioned would be done in the dark, my impending mental breakdown wouldn't be as courteous. 

When you're diagnosed with a mental illness, so many things run through your mind. Feelings of desperation, contempt, confusion, sadness, and anger encapsulate you. You are unaware of how to express what you are feeling, let alone able to articulate to your loved ones what is happening. The feeling that reigns supreme in this moment is loneliness. It is a very lonely place where no one can reach you, or share this burden. Your very foundation is crippled and you are defenseless. I needed support, I needed understanding, love, empathy and to know that I was not alone. I needed to hear "it will be ok" and "It's going to be alright" most of all I wanted to be assured that I wasn't crazy. While I had a loving family and awesome friends, it took some time for them to learn how to support me. It took a long time for me to understand how I wanted to be supported. 

I created LABELED to remove the guesswork, stigma, and challenge of supporting your loved one with their mental health journey. I created LABELED to be a resource of education, knowledge, and understanding for those struggling with mental illness. I created LABELED to be a support system, a village of shared and connected interest. I created LABELED because for 12 years I didn't have it. I created LABELED for me. 

I created LABELED...for you!